


in the backroads of my heart

by Suicix



Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Character Study, Implied/Referenced Sex, Insomnia, Introspection, Light Angst, M/M, Multi, Power Dynamics, Team Dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-19
Updated: 2016-11-19
Packaged: 2018-08-31 22:40:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8596561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suicix/pseuds/Suicix
Summary: Now that NXT is over and a statement has been made, there are expectations.

Set circa July 2010.





	

**Author's Note:**

> wow, 2010 fic. "circa july" is literally just. could be any time after nexus debuted i guess, but definitely before summerslam........ don't even talk to me about that mess lmao
> 
> but anyway!!! have a thousand words of me having Feelings about my favourite wrestler!!! i love wade!!!

It’s started up again: the insomnia, the endless-endless stretch of night that goes by so slowly and without sleep. Wade’s eyes are heavy, almost feel like they’re burning. He’ll be lucky if he sleeps tonight, he knows. It had been OK during NXT, when he knew he’d be walking out of the competition with a contract and title shot. Now, though, there are _expectations_. Wade doesn’t let it show (can’t ever let anyone see), but he does worry, and because of that his mind just won’t stop, won’t shut down, no matter how hard he tries. He can’t be sure of the time (can’t be bothered to move to check), but he reckons it’s about three, maybe closer to four. Too late to still be awake, too early to try and get up, even if he hasn’t been anywhere _close_ to sleeping yet.

Heath and Justin are asleep, though. They’re curled together on the other side of the bed, arms around each other, just as close as Wade knows they’ve been since at least halfway through NXT. Some of the others might not have realised, but Wade could always tell. He tells himself that’s why he won: because he looks at all the little details, every single thing you might have to keep track of in a fight. God knows that a few years spent fighting bare fisted in the back rooms of dingy bars across the continent isn’t the same as wrestling, isn’t the same as all the lights and cameras and pretence, but it prepared him well.

But while Wade was so focused on the competition, Heath and Justin seemed to be more absorbed in – other things. Each other. The two of them were too wrapped up in each other to care all that much about winning in the end. They still are, sure, but now, they have other things to care about: the cause and the team and Wade, too. It seems like they care about him, anyway, like they actually seem to genuinely care. Wade has no idea why. He’d forgotten what that was like – someone choosing his side for reasons other than just money or protection or to get ahead. He isn’t going to complain, though: it’s better than being alone, and the company _is_ good. He likes them both, for all their little oddities and quirks, the parts of them that they already know though Wade’s only just uncovering those things now. Even the things that have him shaking his head have him doing so almost _fondly_ , which he never thought would be possible the first time he had to roll his eyes at something one of them said, months ago back when NXT began.

Wade isn’t going to lie: the sex is good, too, and he gets what he wants the very large majority of the time, because that’s what Justin and Heath seem to want to give him. Sometimes, he just asks to watch the two of them. They indulge him, glancing over at him every so often, making a big deal out of every action, trying to bait him into joining in. There are times when he has to, because _fuck_ , they’re hard to resist, but sometimes he just shakes his head and waits until they’re done with each other before actually joining. If anyone knew, they’d say it was because that would make him the centre of attention, because he wants control and unwavering loyalty, but – no. (That isn’t necessarily wrong, of course, but it’s only such a small part of it. He’s more than just some ruthless, unfeeling leader, and they’re not pawns, not toys. They’re people, his teammates, and they _trust_ him.)

Other times, there’s nothing performative about it whatsoever: Heath and Justin get so lost in each other that Wade’s sure they must have forgotten he’s there. Oddly enough, he doesn’t even think he cares. He _can’t_ care, because it’s _them_ , isn’t it? Them and then him. He can see it now: them with tag titles, him with one of his own, something separate, something different. It’s not even because he’s the leader, the one who does all the thinking and the talking, or because he’s got the chance to go for a title whenever he wants it thanks to winning NXT. That’s part of it, sure. But it’s more that they’re _them_ and he can’t imagine it any other way.

They’re both a lot more interesting now than they ever were in that awful competition. Wade supposes that he has a part in that – given that it’s his idea that has Heath and Justin with him in the ring and now in bed with him, too – and takes some pride in that. So far, neither of them have ever questioned a command, have ever frowned and said _no_ , have ever decided there’s a better way of doing things. Wade supposes he’s grateful, but he knows he can’t let himself get complacent for even a second, even if – even if they actually seem to _like_ him. He never expected that, only ever expected begrudging respect for the leader who hatched the plan to get them all here. He hears the whispers, hears that he apparently must be coercing them into this, but – _no_. Never. He’s not that cruel, no matter what other people want to say about him. They’re following him almost blindly, putting their careers into his hands. He’d never lead them astray, never force them into anything. Not intentionally, anyway. He just – he wants to be able to trust himself like they seem to trust him.

It’s easy enough to pretend: all anyone else sees is self-assurance and a smirk and a sharp nod to get on with what’s been planned, but no-one else can hear the thoughts whirring away in his mind, can hear them when they’re only half-formed, the very barest bones of schemes that Wade can’t be sure will work.

He has to make it work, though. He has to try to turn all the bullshit into something genius, has to make sure no-one will ever be able to see any of it coming. People are relying on him to make a statement, to make some change, to shake things up a bit. Of course that’s his goal – complete and utter chaos followed by a change in the status quo – but in the end, he’ll be relieved if he manages to make something work for him and Heath and Justin, if no-one and nothing else.


End file.
